In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
