so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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