What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
