You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
