You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
