I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
