like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
