OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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