You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i think i have two assholes
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
