I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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