I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
