thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We left the knife in your bed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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