I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
