I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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