Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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