I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
