omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
