I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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