So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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