just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
