I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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