I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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