she smelled like a LAN party
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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