She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
