i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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