I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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