Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?

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(303): View more from Colorado

She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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(559): View more from California

The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.

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(727): View more from Florida

well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

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(708): View more from Illinois

We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance

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(816): View more from Missouri

The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

True college students do jello shots in the library

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