Please, let me fuck your mom
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
did i walk over a car last night?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
