i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
smell my finger.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
