You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
