just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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