I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
