He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
