your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
