I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
