I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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