Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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