...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
