White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
