Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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