Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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