I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
