ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
