Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
