god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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