You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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