No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
