she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
