But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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