Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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