the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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