By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
