OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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