So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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