why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
