but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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