I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
