Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So vagazzling was a success
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
