You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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