I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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