so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
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I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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