i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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