For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
