They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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