Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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